I never thought that I would be someone battling infertility AND infant loss. I have been physically active and in-shape my whole life, yet here I am. I was involved in a very bad car accident with my mother on November 18th, 2008. We both sustained major injuries that we should have never walked away from. I was flew to Cabrini St. Francis Hospital in Alexandria, Louisiana (I was only 17-years-old). The next sentence I am about to say, was told to me by my family who was allowed to see my in ICU that night. The motor of the vehicle my mother and I was in, was sitting in my lap. The motor burnt my leg a bit, I had internal bleeding, a punctured colon, a lacerated liver, a broken left femur, a broken left wrist, a broken right leg, a shattered kneecap (everything torn- ACL, etc.), and a concussion. I have many plates, screws, and rods everywhere now. The doctors said that I wouldn’t make it through the night, so they began allowing family and even a few friends to see me one last time. God proved them wrong. November 19th came, and the doctors said that I would never walk again. God proved them wrong again. Eventually I was released from the hospital, and I’m able to chase my 8-year-old son, born September 2nd, 2010.
Since that tragic day and experience, I have not been able to successfully get and/or stay pregnant. The doctors and I’ve seen many of them, have told me that I was able to have my son because the scar tissue was not everywhere throughout my stomach and uterus just yet. I recently discovered I was pregnant in October 2016 after 6 years of trying. You can only imagine my excitement! I was an emotional roller coaster and was very very happy that I had finally did something right. All of that excitement and joy ended 3 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I was so devastated and tore up, that it drove me into having anxiety attacks all day every day for weeks after my miscarriage. The doctors told me that everyone has miscarriages and that it was completely normal. They told me that most miscarriages are caused by a genetic abnormality. I thought that maybe God just wasn’t ready.
6 months passed, and we found ourselves pregnant again in May 2017. Again, you can say I was very excited; but this time I was also scared. I was happy God had given me another chance to give our son a sibling. 4 weeks later, another miscarriage happened to us. We were both so devastated and cried until our bodies couldn’t produce anymore tears. Again, the doctors said that it was nothing more than a genetic abnormality. We mentioned our concerns, yet we were not taking seriously. We were told that we couldn’t be referred to a high-risk specialist until we had three or more miscarriages. They would not test either of us for anything, so we went home and healed with time.
6 months later, we found ourselves pregnant a third time in November 2017. We were almost sad to see those two pink lines. Something that was supposed to be exciting had turned into something frightening. We prayed each night as we do every night, and called the doctor. They couldn’t see us until I was out of the first semester. So again, we prayed. December arrived and we headed to Florida in order to finally go on our cruise that had been scheduled for 18 months. On the way there, I began spotting a little here and there. I called the doctors again, and they told me not to worry unless it turned bright red. So I went about my business. We arrived in Florida late that night and checked into our hotel. The very next morning, I went to the bathroom and there was nothing but bright red blood everywhere. All I could done as sit and cry on the toilet. My boyfriend was still asleep at this time. I knew right then that our vacation was ruined. We would have to come back home to Louisiana and see what was going on (not to mention, we would not receive a refund for any of the excursions we hadn’t previously paid for). We get home early the next morning and head for the Emergency Room. They ran many tests of me and said that it looked like an “impending miscarriage” and sent us back home. I didn’t even show up two days after that for a redraw of my blood because I had already been here before. I knew I was having another miscarriage. After two weeks, I stopped bleeding. I went back to the Emergency Room to make sure I had passed everything this go-around. The doctors still couldn’t see a fetus with an ultrasound, but my HCG levels had dropped. They sent me home again and told me to keep a close watch. If I was to start bleeding again, to return. We went home. On Christmas night, we returned back to the Emergency Room. This time, they could see exactly were the fetus was; my HCG levels had doubled. All I remember are the words “ectopic pregnancy.” I completely lost all composure this time. They wanted to do surgery that night and I said no. I would follow-up with methotrexate. After receiving the methotrexate, I experienced the absolute worst. My cervix was closed, but the medicine was making me go into labor and push it through anyways. I will never forget this long and painful miscarriage. At the end of February, I had completed the whole process. We were on the road to heal once again.
We decided to switch doctors due to me beginning to hurt and bleed brown-black blood from the beginning of March 2018 until I had my very next surgery on April 10th, 2018. What my new doctor found was horrible! He scheduled a laparoscopy. He found a 10mm cyst on my right ovary, a closed fallopian tube, a endometrial spot, and the blood sack from the ectopic pregnancy still somewhat hanging from my left fallopian tube. That blood sack was slowly leaking black blood and could have killed me if it would have busted open. After surgery he explained to me that he has reopened my right Fallopian tube, removed as much scar tissue as he could, removed the cyst, the endometrial spot, and removed the blood sack that had been inside me for five months!
This brings me to the next challenge and journey we will face.
My doctor currently has me on Clomid and Metoformin 500mg. He also told me that my chances of having another ectopic increased since I already had one. He told me IVF was going to be the only way where our chances were the greatest and highest. We do not want to go through another miscarriage. We realize that IVF treatment and the medicines involved for it are very expensive. We know that we are going to have to take out a loan to be able to afford this because our insurance doesn’t cover anything related to infertility or the drugs.. We are to the point of desperation.
The pain that we have already been through dealing with infertility is something that can't be erased. We would highly appreciate it if you could give a small donation to help us along this long, stressful journey. No amount is too small to be appreciated. Thank you all for reading our story.